Developing Your Eye, Day One: Home

I have been far away from home for seven years. The place where I grow up isn’t the bustling city where I live now. It is a quiet, simple, peaceful, and laid back place.thumb_540053_107707476035453_1892356505_n_1024

This photo was taken in 2010, the last time I was there. I miss it. I miss the field, the mountains, I miss the simple people and the simple life.

I miss my mother. To feel the warmth of her smile, to hear the sound of her voice again. This is what I live for.

 

 

My Name is V… or not

You can call me V. That’s not my real name but my friends call me by that name. I’ve always been curious about a lot of things. Everyday, I try to learn new stuff. I check Wikipedia and choose any topic to study for the entire day, if not the entire week.

I decided to join WordPress because I want to be able to write about my life, my hopes, and difficulties. I hope I meet people who shares the same things that I enjoy.

Postaday #3: Playlist of the Week

My week here starts with Sunday and ends in Thursday. This whole week had me in a roller coaster ride. It started with me feeling like the king of the world and ended with me feeling like an outcast.

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Sunday – King For A Day (Pierce the Veil ft. Kellin Quinn)

The meaning of the of the song is about someone being pushed past the breaking point, however, every time I hear this song I feel so pumped up and I feel like I can do anything. I was trying to nail an extra job and “I did good, if not, excellent” (according to my client).

MondayA Horse With No Name (America)

It is about a song trying to capture the dry feeling of the desert which fits perfectly because Monday for me is the most boring of all days. It’s the calm after the storm that is Sunday. After I nailed the extra job, I was back to my old daytime task.

TuesdayBack In Black (AC/DC)

The lyrics perfectly fits what happened to me last Tuesday. My Sunday client called me back for another job. I thought I’m dead for the next two weeks but he called for another exciting project. I was excited to work with him.

WednesdayI’m Not Okay (My Chemical Romance)

I received a very bad news about my residency application. They informed me that my residency can be processed a day after my visit visa expires and I hate the idea of exiting the country.

ThursdayMiserable (Lit)

This concludes my week. I can only relate this day to the first three lines of the song (You make me come, you make me complete, you make me completely miserable.) but it says so much about what I’ve been going through.

I hope you all had a good week! 🙂

Postaday #2: VIP

I’m not the kind of person who gets along well with other people. I keep to myself, only talks when being addressed to, and I don’t go out that much. A wallflower, I guess. I don’t have a lot of close friends to brag about. There, at least, two or three people that I can call my close friends. Best friend, none. 

What I’m trying to say is that it’s hard for me to classify these three remaining people, but, for the sake of this challenge, I’m going to pick one.

My mum. 

She’s a strong person. The strongest, I tell you. She took care of us, her four children, when our father was away. She had her flaws, a lot, but I look past that and saw a very beautiful, perfect woman. Too bad, I am not by her side and I am not able to provide now that my father can’t…or won’t. 

She gave birth to me, her eldest child, at a young age of sixteen. At that age, I still can’t decide what to wear to school. She observes, she listens, and she suffers silently. She stood by as my father was drawn to another woman. She cries at night, worries when my father isn’t home after a week of absence, and still does. She still waits for him. 

She got pregnant of her fifth child at the age of forty. My father still hasn’t change. After all of these, she still managed to understand him. 

It’s difficult to see your loved ones hurting. It breaks my heart whenever I see her cry,

but,

what really kills me is when she sits in her usual spot patiently waiting for a person who doesn’t deserve her. 

My mum is my friend, my VIP. 

A Hundred-fold Nervous

Nervous

Nervous? I wish I am just nervous because I, as a matter of fact, am suicidal and about to off myself.

Let me give you a little bit of context.

I am away from my country for more than 4 years. In those 4 years, life was easy. I have a nice job, a good salary and I get what I always want.

Fast forward to March 2016, I quit my easy job to work with my previous general manager in his new company. I was fine then even when I had to travel by bus on a daily basis for 2 hours. I was adjusting. However, I had a fight with a co-worker and my manager sided with her so I left the company.

Without a residence visa and an excess of 35 days on the allowable stay, I exited the country and came back on a three-month visit visa on June 2016. I searched for a new job but no one would accept me with my rate. (I already have a high salary rate from my previous company so I based it from that.)

From June 2016 until today, I’ve exited the country five times. My current tourist visa is due this 14th of March and I’m not nervous. I’m a hundred-fold nervous.